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NVC Resources with Peggy Smith

The Neuroscience of Privilege, Power and Status

Article • 15 - 22 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
15 - 22 minutes
Our brains tend to see those outside our circle of belonging as non-human. This occurs reflexively when we have more advantages than others. When we notice people that look like us, we'll think about them, wonder about them, and imagine their lives, and empathize more -- but not so for those of other affiliations, classes, "races", etc. Working with this is crucial if we want to live nonviolently. Read on for 7 related practices.

Acknowledging Other People’s Reality

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.

How to Create Your Own Teaching Activities

Video • 49 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
49 minutes

Listen as Mary Mackenzie shares an eight step path to create your own NVC learning activities, based on your own NVC learning experience. In this session, Mary uses the value of requests and observations as teaching examples.

Making Requests and Avoiding Demands

Practice Exercise • 5 - 10 minutes
All Skill Levels
Practice Exercise
5 - 10 minutes

Sylvia Haskvitz offers a practical and effective approach to making requests. Learn the two questions that can clarify your motivation for making a request, three ways to discern a request from a demand, and five possible reasons for meeting requests.

Exercise: Connecting Sensations to Emotions and Needs

Video (Public) • 12 minutes
All Skill Levels
Video (Public)
12 minutes

Puzzling about needs and feelings? Check out this excerpt from Dian Killian's course, Embracing the Body: Somatic Self Empathy, where she leads participants through an exercise that demonstrates how our physical sensations connect us to our feelings and needs.

Don't Call Me White!

Article • 12-18 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
12-18 minutes

The notion of "micro-aggressions" may be levied by those in the dominant class - for example white folks may talk about receiving micro-aggressions when a (legitimately) angry BIPOC references them as "white". This shuts down the conversation and feeds a myth that everyone's pain about race is equal. It doesn't foster dialogue that moves us towards a more equitable, compassionate world. Read on for more about the complexity.

Understanding Earned Authority and Dissolving Projections Through Boundaries and Shared Humanity

Article • 6 - 9 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
6 - 9 minutes

Someone may give more weight to your ideas, decisions, and directives based on your experience and what you've learned. This could influence them to project their ideals, fears, hopes, and more onto you. In this case, you can help transform this and contribute to their connection to their own agency, authenticity, and self-trust -- while supporting their ability to learn from what you have to offer.

How to Respect Boundaries When Offering Empathy

Article • 6 - 9 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
6 - 9 minutes

Sometimes the empathy you offer may stimulate disconnect or a sense of boundary crossing for the other person. To identify what might have contributed to the disconnect you can look for the signs, the level of attunement and the context, and examine what's happening in you. Read on for more.

Self Connection in the Turbulent Times of COVID-19

Article • 4 - 6 minutes
All Skill Levels
4 - 6 minutes

Read on for a demonstration of self empathy -- all generated within the context of both the COVID-19 pandemic, and the changes to Bridget's life that have arisen as a result.

Naming the Feeling/Need

Audio (Public) • 00:03 hours:minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Audio (Public)
00:03 hours:minutes

When you experience an emotion, your body send a message to your brain that lights up the amygdala. Then what? Watch and listen as Sarah Peyton demonstrates of the NVC practice Naming the Feeling and Need, which calms the amygdala and enables you to move into relational space.

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